The Science of Smackology - Defined

Smackology:

The practice in the art of Smack, Trash, Junk Talking. Smackology is the rare ability to belittle the rivals of your favorite teams, leaving a path of Smack Talk destruction in your wake…never being a victim in the wake. This is not an educational path for the meek at heart.

Dr. Smack:

This is the King of the Smack Talkers. This distinction takes years to earn and can only be bestowed by a current PHd (Piled Higher and Deeper) of Smackology. Many have tried…few have achieved.

Smackologist:

One who has mastered the practices of Smackology. This is a special distinction reserved for graduates of Smack University. This is the final step prior to being awarded the distinction of Dr. Smack...which must be bestowed on an individual by an existing Doctor of Smackology.

Smack Pack:

Those that are currently attending Smack University, striving to become Smackologists. Most will never advance past the level of Smack Pack, but will suffer much humiliation trying.

Smacktator:

Those poor souls that will never even obtain the status of Smack Pack. Do not be discouraged…you can still be an Ultimate Sports Fan, just do not enter the ring with a seasoned Smackologist…for your own well being. Just sit on the sidelines and be a Smacktator to avoid life lasting mental trauma.

Smacktatortot:

The very young that show early signs of being gifted in the art of Smackology. On very rare occasions, young children know their calling in life. A Smackologist dreams of having a child that can be called a Smacktatortot.

Smack Attack:

An unprovoked smack down on an unexpected Smacktator or any other lesser qualified Smack Packer. This is a common practice of a Smackologist who suffers from Dr. Smack envy, but it is very rare an accomplished Dr. Smack will stoop to this level. Dr. Smack will want the challenge of only Smack Attacking a seasoned professional...such as another Doctor of Smackology.



Tim Jones - Rivalry Rage, Inc.

Game 5 and the hotdog stand

If you missed Sunday night’s matchup with the Spurs battling it out with the Mavs then you missed one heck of an old school NBA game. Of course some of us want to beat up the teams and players for their intensity and passion that resulted in flagrant fouls and near fights, but come on people, this is what happens when you play to win and not just for the money alone, and in my opinion it doesn’t happen enough. These multi-million dollar players just don’t give a darn like they use to and I am almost to the point where I don’t even want to watch it. What’s really starting to piss me off is that their “play for the money” attitudes are starting to slowly trickle down into the college basketball world and that cannot happen! That is why Sunday night’s game was fun and entertaining for me to see. I’m not saying its okay to take someone’s head off as they go to the rack, I’m just saying that’s what happens when you are overcome with intensity and passion for the game and I hope to see more of it in tonight’s game in Dallas.

While the Mavs try and keep the Spurs from knocking them out of the first round of the playoffs for the third time in 4 years, I’m sure the Spurs will be trying to give Mr. Cuban more reason to hate them.

No matter what happens tonight, I just want to see another old school NBA game, and if that means Tim Duncan going into the stands and beating up your momma then so be it. But for the love of the game, I want to see these players want it!!! Go after every loose ball, get in someone’s face, play “in your shorts” and “follow him to the hot dog stand” defense. All I want is for them to show passion and desire to beat the other team. Is that too much?!

Final score:
Spurs 96, Mavs 103

Stephen Bethea aka “Dr. Smack” – Rivalry Rage, Inc.

Talladega...Never a Dull Moment

What a day at Talladega! When the NASCAR boys arrive at Talladega you know that the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series is in full swing. As usual, Talladega brought excitement, generated tons of scrap metal, and brought normally cool heads to the brink of boiling over. Who would have thought just a couple of short years ago that Jeff Gordon and Jimmie Johnson would be anything but great friends and supportive teammates? Once again, in a continuing trend, Jimmie and Jeff ended the day on less than great terms. The move by Jimmie late in the race to block Jeff (when he had a great run and a full head of steam) added one more log on the fire. In this writer's opinion, Jimmie was way out of line. If that poor attempt of a block would have been tried on anyone except a teammate it may be understood by race fans, but don’t block your own teammate…and co-owner of your car. What are you thinking? This hurt Jeff’s chance to make a great move toward the front and if you review the replay, it also hurt Jimmie. It’s time for Jimmie to throttle back a bit. He is, without a doubt, part of the best team in racing and will probably once again bring home the Championship, but it’s time to think about how you got where you are. Jeff and the rest of the Hendrick Motor sports team had more than a little impact on your success. OK, enough about that...

At the end of the day there was only one driver celebrating in victory lane. Kevin “Happy” Harvick has triumphantly returned to the winner's circle after a 155 race absence. Kevin may have driven the perfect race, hanging out in the back of the pack until the end, trying to avoid trouble. As with any restrictor plate race there is always a little bit of luck involved in being in the perfect position with just a few laps remaining. Luck or not, once you’re there the driver had better know what to do to close the deal. Today Kevin made the perfect move on the last turn to edge out Jamie McMurray. Congratulations Kevin on a fantastic finish.

Tim Jones – Rivalry Rage, Inc

Rivalry Rage Beta Testing

We have started our Beta testing of RivalryRage.com starting today. We are getting very excited about our official launch which we're anticipating in the next two weeks. Hope you enjoy this "Ultimate in Smack Talk Entertainment" as much as we do.

Dear old Duke

In a year when the basketball world was screaming that the ACC was weak, in a year when the Big 10 finally beat the ACC in the Big 10/ ACC challenge, in a year when everyone had their bracket busted in the second round when Northern Iowa stole the Jayhawks wheat and shoved their chalk, well you get the point. There stands Duke, representing the good that’s left in the game with their heart, hustle and desire to play for the name on the front of their jerseys instead of the back as so many players do these days. I’m so sick of these "one and done" players that just use the college basketball stage to build their resume for the NBA. Those guys don’t deserve to win the national title, and this year they didn’t. The team that played their hearts out for the love of the game and their school and coach won it all. Many people, including myself, thought that those Dookies had run their course and old coach K didn’t have it in him anymore. After all, there was a new sheriff in town who goes by the name of Roy Williams, and when Ol’ Roy came home in 2003 let's face it; he was the new Lord of Tobacco Road. But, in a season after one of the greatest championship runs ever, Lord Roy found himself and his boys in a unfamiliar place called the NIT, while their arch rivals - that they love to hate so much - are off in Indianapolis cutting down the nets for the 4th time in 19 years. A very crazy year in the college basketball world to say the least, and while we sit around and gripe about how our Orange blew it, or how we can’t believe our Wildcats lost to WV, or how in the world our chalk rocking Jayhawks got beat by Northern Iowa, or how the beloved Tarheels had one of the worst seasons in school history and missed the big dance completely, let's be thankful that a team that plays and works hard and that is not full of NBA talent did it and did it well. Whether we accept it or not, you can count on one thing, and that is if you’re within 100 miles of Durham tonight, I’m positive you’ll be able to hear those crazies singing.....

"Dear old Duke, thy name we'll sing,....

To thee our voices raise, we'll raise.....

To thee our anthems ring....
In everlasting praise."